The death of a loved one is a part of the life cycle that brings grief to children as well as to adults. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, 4% of single parents had been widowed; 13.9% of these households included children under the age of 12 (U.S. Census Bureau, 2001). In addition to the death of a parent, many children may also experience the death of a grandparent, sibling, or friend. Parents and teachers can play an important role in helping children deal with loss. This Digest discusses psychological tasks that appear to be essential to children's adjustment, how children understand death and react to the death of a loved one, and how parents and teachers can help children cope with loss.
Christian (1997), a professor of early childhood education who worked with families with AIDS, observes that, unlike adults, some children may not realize that they can survive without the deceased parent. Baker and Sedney (1996), based on clinical experience and interviews, list early tasks of bereavement for children including self-protection or the need for assurance that they will be safe and cared for. Understanding the death, another task, requires the provision of information to these children on how or why the death occurred. Some experts believe that vague abstractions may leave a child believing that deceased parents could return if they wanted to do so (Corr & Corr, 1996, pp. 120-121). As they mature, experts agree, children need to be able to ask questions about the death repeatedly and to work through their developing understanding of such a major event (Christian, 1997).
Parents and teachers may observe outbursts of anger and acting-out behavior among children who have lost a loved one. Somaticization (physical complaints without a disease or physical basis to account for them) increased during the first year after the death of a loved one in 13% of the children studied (Worden, 1996). The number of children experiencing serious illness during the first year increased but fell to match the percentage of nonbereaved children during the second year. A similar pattern was observed in the number of accidents experienced by bereaved children (Worden, 1996).
* Depression so severe that a child shows little interest in
daily activities
* Inability to sleep, eat normally, or be alone
* Regression in behavior to that of a less-mature child
* Imitation of the deceased person
* Repeatedly wishing to join the deceased
* Loss of interest in friends or play
* Refusal to attend school or a persistent and marked drop
in school achievement
Adler, C. S. (1993). Daddy's Climbing Tree. New York: Clarion Books. A father is killed in a hit-and-run accident. Anderson, Leone. (1979). It's O.K. to Cry. Illus. by Richard Wahl. Elgin, IL: Child's World. Two brothers grieve the death of an uncle.
Bartoli, Jennifer. (1975). Nonna. Illus. by Joan Drescher. New York: Harvey House. A family deals with a grandmother's death.
Jones, Penelope. (1981). Holding Together. New York: Bradbury Press. Sisters help each other through the illness and death of their mother.
Stiles, Norman. (1984). I'll Miss You, Mr. Hooper. Illus. by Joe Mathieu. New York: Random House. Big Bird mourns the death of Mr. Hooper. Contains notes for parents.
Viorst, Judith. (1971). The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. Illus. by Erik Blegvad. New York: Antheneum. A child learns about death through the loss of a pet.
Wolfelt, Alan. (2000). Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Kids. Ft. Collins, CO: Companion Press. Children 6-12 who have had a loved one die find ideas to help with the grief.
Baker, J. E., & Sedney, M. A. (1996). How bereaved children cope with loss: An overview. In C. A. Corr & D. M. Corr (Eds.), HANDBOOK OF CHILDHOOD DEATH AND BEREAVEMENT. New York: Springer.
CHILDREN'S BOOKS ON DEATH AND DYING. (1997). University Park: Pennsylvania State College of Agricultural Sciences. Available: http://www.penpages.psu.edu/penpages_reference/28507/28507 2304.html.
Christian, L. G. (1997). Children and death. YOUNG CHILDREN, 52(4), 76-80. EJ 544 923.
Corr, C. A. (2000). Using books to help children and adolescents cope with death: Guidelines and bibliography. In K. J. Doka, LIVING WITH GRIEF (pp. 295-314). Washington, DC: Hospice Foundation of America. ED 438 948.
Corr, C. A., & Corr, D. M. (Eds.). (1996). HANDBOOK OF CHILDHOOD DEATH AND BEREAVEMENT. New York: Springer.
Cuddy-Casey, M., Orvaschel, H., & Sellers, A. H. (1997, August). A SCALE TO MEASURE THE DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN'S CONCEPTS OF DEATH. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, Chicago, IL. ED 414 532.
Doka, K. J. (Ed.). (2000). LIVING WITH GRIEF: CHILDREN, ADOLESCENTS, AND LOSS. Washington, DC: Hospice Foundation of America. ED 438 948.
Emswiler, M. A., & Emswiler, J. P. (2000). GUIDING YOUR CHILD THROUGH GRIEF. New York: Bantam Books.
Harris, M. (1995). THE LIFELONG IMPACT OF THE EARLY DEATH OF A MOTHER OR FATHER. New York: E.P. Dutton.
Hogan, N. (2002). Helping children cope with grief. FOCUS ON PRE-K & K, 15(1), 3-6.
National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC). (2003). GRIEF: CHILDREN [Online]. Available: http://www.ncvc.org/gethelp/griefchildren/.
Shaw, H. (1999). Children and grief: How parents can help in times of loss. PARENT AND PRESCHOOLER NEWSLETTER, 14(2), 1-2.
Shriner, J. A. (1996). YOUNG CHILDREN'S UNDERSTANDING OF DEATH [Online]. Columbus: Ohio State University Extension. Available: http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5165.html.
Thomason, N. D. (1999). "Our guinea pig is dead!": Young children cope with death. DIMENSIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD, 27(2), 26-29. EJ 584 450.
Tu, W. (1999). USING LITERATURE TO HELP CHILDREN COPE WITH PROBLEMS. ERIC Digest. Bloomington, IN: ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading, English, and Communication. ED 436 008.
U.S. Census Bureau. (2001). TABLE FG6. ONE-PARENT FAMILY GROUPS WITH OWN CHILDREN UNDER 18, BY MARITAL STATUS, AND RACE AND HISPANIC ORIGIN OF THE REFERENCE PERSON: MARCH 2000. Washington, DC: Author. Available: http://www.census. gov/population/socdemo/hh-fam/p20-537/2000/tabFG6.txt.
Worden, J. W. (1996). CHILDREN AND GRIEF: WHEN A PARENT DIES. New York: Guilford. ED 405 133.
-----
References identified with an ED (ERIC document), EJ (ERIC journal), or PS number are cited in the ERIC database. Most documents are available in ERIC microfiche collections at more than 1,000 locations worldwide (see http://www.ed.gov/Programs/EROD/). They can also be ordered through EDRS: 800-443-ERIC or online at http://www.edrs.com/Webstore/Express.cfm. Journal articles are available from the original journal, interlibrary loan services, or article reproduction clearinghouses such as Ingenta (800-296-2221).
ERIC Digests are in the public domain and may be freely reproduced. This project has been funded at least in part with Federal funds from the U.S. Department of Education under contract number ED-99-CO-0020. The content of this publication does not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the U.S. Department of Education, nor does mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations imply endorsement by the U.S. Government.
ABOUT ERIC/EECE DIGESTS...
ERIC/EECE Digests are short reports on topics of current interest in education. Digests are targeted to teachers, administrators, parents, policy makers, and other practitioners. They are designed to provide an overview of information on a given topic and references to items that provide more detailed information.
Reviewed by subject experts who are content specialists in the field, the digests are funded by the U.S. Department of Education.
All ERIC/EECE Digests are available free in original printed form directly from the clearinghouse. For additional information on this topic, please contact ERIC/EECE directly at [email protected] or 1-800-583-4135.
###